Don't Assume Your First Reflection Is Right

A week ago I said, what if it is not impatience? I started to go down the road of maybe I don’t like it as much as I thought. What if it’s also not that but something else?

I have always been moving from one thing to another. At the beginning of each project I was always completely obsessed with it, really able to make a lot of progress in short time. But as time went by I started losing the beginners mindset, which decreases curiosity and increases pressure. I think this very often killed the fun for me, which caused me to move on to the next thing. And the cycle repeats.

I guess I have never really pushed beyond that. I always found a next thing where I was able to employ the beginners mindset, experience a lot of growth and enjoy myself. Perhaps it was just the easy way out.

When you feel like you aren’t moving as fast as you want to or expected yourself to, not referring to results alone but also in your actions, you start to doubt. You start to look for reasons why that might be the case. I looked at impatience, which is for sure part of it as that creates those doubts. I then started to think that maybe this is not the right path either, maybe I don’t like it as much as I thought I was, because otherwise I would be moving faster in my eyes. But what I didn’t consider, is that it might be fear that’s holding me back.

Impatience or thinking it is not the right path, does not chip away from your self-worth. It creates doubt, but it is not “weakness”. But fear.. being fearful implies that you think you might not be up for the task. That is weakness. But only if you give in to it.