February recap
Another month has passed, man time is flying! They say time always flies when you are enjoying yourself, so it is certainly not a bad thing.But it is something worth noting and I think it also clarifies certain feelings over the past weeks.February has once again not been the most amazing month, especially looking at results. Start was pretty bad, middle was good and made up for most and the end was.... not so good to put it nicely. But it still wasn't that bloody of a month so can't complain when it comes to the pokers.
Mindset
Mindset has been swingy in February, but where last year it took a long time before recognizing where things went wrong and wasn't able to bounce back quickly, this year it is the exact opposite! I know I keep saying it but I just can't stretch it enough, blogs, goals, meditating, a community to share things with and learn from each other, are game changers! I never really had problems holding myself accountable, but in case you do, I really recommend starting your own blog in our discord server so you have a community to hold you accountable, so you stay on top of things and recognize faster and easier things that go well and things that may need improvement.
Anyway, what I think has been main cause of my mindset being off last week mainly, is just lack of perspective. I really enjoyed the more time I spent with family and friends in February and I was pretty well able to continue putting out lots of content and continue to stay focused which was one of our main focuses. But when you are so busy with all sorts of stuff, the grind, the content grind, things for RYE, spending time with loved ones... it is really easy to get caught up in that. Forgetting where you were and where you are now and where you are going. We all know I am not the best in anything yet, compared to others for sure, but also compared to the best version of myself. I believe there is still so much potential in me. And I started to lose that perspective, while that perspective is so important. It is needed to be able to detach and to be kind to yourself, you can't expect to be elite at everything in no time, it is just unrealistic.
So I have been continuing to read Ego is the enemy, working through the self-esteem pack now of headspace and slowly but surely that perspective is coming back. Having discussions with people that you respect really helps with it, knowing you are not the only one who has ever struggled with things, that it is okay and then you can learn from them. As you know from the previous blog, I became unsure of what my quality was, what is my value. And it appears to be me and that is actually the case for everyone. You are your value. We stand for improving, not for being perfect. So that is exactly what we are doing, trying to improve while documenting every single step of it.
Thankful for the opportunities
Having said that, as you guys may have heard I joined partypoker Team Online. Which is a massive opportunity for me and I am really excited to work together with all those amazing content creators. I am really grateful for partypoker taking this shot on me, seeing the potential in me and putting their believe in me. It is not something to take for granted. I don't want to throw a weird flex here, but just remind myself of where we were and where we are now. When I was still at school in 2017, people were saying I was never going to make Twitch partner. I became Partner that summer. I took a gap year. People were saying I had to go back to school, that I sucked and that I should stop playing. I became a RYE ambassador December that year and January 2018 I started working with them. And now February 2019, I am getting sponsored by partypoker at the age of 20.
It would be bold to say, doubt me again but.... doubt me again. I believe you can get so far by being dedicated, working hard and continue to look to improve yourself and add value to others. I am thankful for all the opportunities I am being given and it is crazy to think that this is all still just the beginning. I want to thank you guys for having not only my back but also each others back. We are building something special here. Something that is bigger than just poker, some people recognize there is more than poker and start doing other things, some become a father, but we are still connected by the bond that we are sharing. Let's continue to grow and improve ourselves and share that with others!