What is my why?

So after recognizing what has been causing issues, the question should always be, how can I improve upon it to make it less likely from happening again?I feel like the past months, there have been moments I did have it though, but there has been a lack of the why. All I was doing was just putting in the work. Why? I didn’t have an answer anymore, I know why I am doing what I am doing, but at those times I didn’t. Just everything (basically just me), sucked. I was working for the sake of working, cuz what else can I do?

I think if you ever want to succeed at something, you must know what you are doing it for, what are your goals. I lost that for some reason, probably due to my troubled view. Another key point: if you are looking for misery, you will find misery. If you are looking for ways to fail, you will find it. But looking for positives doesn’t take any more energy.

So what people then very often do, including me, is once they become aware of the necessity of having goals, is that they start setting really big goals. For example I set myself the goal to go to the gym every day, was a good idea, did it for a week. There was not really a definite desire/goal, there were no “micro achievements” -> you lose motivation -> doomed to fail.

So thanks to some tips of others, another keypoint: by opening up about these things, talking about it with others, you see other perspectives, other experiences. You can learn from other’s mistakes without having to make them yourself first. I got to learn that it is important to start with small steps, small goals, small achievements. It’s kinda just like making your bed, brushing your teeth, those micro achievements, that give you some momentum.

So the past week, I started with making a schedule regarding content creation. But not a too busy/strict one, so it was somewhat easy to achieve and to make 100% sure I was gonna be able to do it. Because if you don’t do it one time, it is way more likely you also don’t do it the next time.

So first of all I made the why really clear for myself. Why am I doing what I am doing? I have a definite desire to succeed as a streamer, to actually become a meaningful presence. Not just for the fame or the money, none of that. But because then I am capable to actually start doing really cool projects to bring even more value to the customer, so we all can have a great time and get ours. I would love to collaborate with people, start projects…. Right now that feels kinda out of my reach, just not meaningful enough, not lucrative enough. I don’t have much more to offer than a shit ton of motivation and some brains. I don’t have an audience of thousands, or millions of people. But I do have ideas, but who cares?  No one until you are interesting enough. I don’t blame anyone, I get it. It is something that I would do differently than others, maybe because I am now in this position, not sure. I would pick people that I trust, that have the fire, almost always over the people that have the qualifications.

Don’t get me wrong, I am not complaining about it, because complaining won’t get you anywhere until you do something about it. And that’s exactly what I am about to do, this train hasn’t even left the station yet. Small goal, by small goal, the train will catch more and more speed.