Take a step back

So the past week I felt really bad, wasn't energetic, wasn't productive, wasn't pumped about playing poker, streaming or anything at all. Really felt like not doing anything. But as I am doing this challenge and just have a schedule I like to stick to, I find it hard to say: "Sorry guys, but I am not feeling like it today, I take a day off" and then not show up. So what I have been doing is just trying to get my head right, get up and get the work done. But by doing so I wasn't 100% focused because I wasn't feeling like it, which leads to not playing my A game, which leads to worse results, which then leads to lowering my confidence and with that the fun in the game but also just in life.

It is so easy when you are really productive and have lots of goals, to get caught up in it. Every day you get up and put in the hours. I needed time to take a step back, reassess, look at where I am going, what I am doing it for, why I am doing it, what I could be doing better and what I am doing well. Even though it is so hard for me to take a step back, it was the right thing to do. I am happy that I have the self-awareness to notice when I am not feeling great or just how I am doing in general, but I don't always have it in me to act upon it. That's why having people around you who can help you with that is so important, that's why sharing your story with others can be so helpful.

I spend 2 days on doing what I just felt like doing. Completely in control, no responsibilities, nothing, just me. That included me playing some Fortnite here and there with some friends (which kept the streaming streak alive!), studying some poker, sharing that on socials, engaging with the community, but all on my clock and no one else’s. It feels good to be in control (also gotta accept things that are out of your control though), being able to take a step back, I am grateful that I am in the position to do so.

If you are not, then try to spend the hours that you have for yourself on yourself. Write in your diary, read a book, spend the time just on you, no social media, nothing, just you. Reasses. Ask yourself: Where am I going, what am I doing it for, why am I doing it, what could I be doing better and what I am doing well. Then go from there.I am looking forward to the grind again, feeling fresh and focussed. Learning point is that it is fine to take a step back sometimes, because you are in it for the long run. Just gotta keep on improving on all these things and in the meantime be fine with sucking shit.