Losing My Direction
It has been a minute since I have written a personal blog update and to be fair it is a tough one and I don’t really know where to start. I guess let’s start off with quickly recapping what I have been up to the past 2 months.
The past 2 months have been pretty busy. Had to run a few sales for Raise Your Edge and RYE also had Stream Week 2.0, so we created tons of content during that period. I helped running a political campaign in Canada and I of course launched DiggingWinning Gaming, where I organize events and create tons of content out of that. And of course not to forget the DWsteviepoker and DWstevie accounts were also still supplied with tons of content. Also behind the scenes I have been busy, keeping the accounting up to date as well as getting the Terms and Conditions created for the marketing agency side of DiggingWinning.
Jack of all trades, master of none.
So looking back, you’d say things have been good. But there is still something in me that is not satisfied with how things are going and I don’t know why. So Friday I acknowledged those feelings and tried figuring out what it may be. The outcome was that it may be me feeling overwhelmed with everything that I think needs to improve, if I want to grow my marketing business. The problem lies in that I feel like the quality of the graphic design, animation, web design etc is not at the level I'd like it to be. But I also don't have the motivation to improve at these things myself, due to it just not being my calling as well as it just becoming too much. It can't do it all. Jack of all trades, master of none.
If I do decide to focus on improving at the output skills (graphic design etc), which again is not my calling, I can’t focus on getting new clients. If I focus on getting new clients, I can’t improve at the output skills which, perhaps, only in my eyes may not be good enough currently to get new clients. But again, that is just me telling myself that because I haven’t actively been trying to get new clients. Mainly because I have been doing what I know, which is creating tons of content. Either because I have to or perhaps because I look for an excuse to not do the other things.
How to move forward?
Friday I felt like I found a solution, which was basically the goal I had in mind on which this whole idea is built. Which is bringing good people together and be the glue. Get them to work well together, manage it, bring in new clients and that way grow step by step. And to this day, that is the answer. If I want my idea to work out, that is the way to go. Because I can’t do it all myself nor I want to because I am not passionate enough about design to do it for 10hrs a day. And the bigger mission of this all, is to do what you like doing. Inspire people to do the same. Work together and that way help others to do the same. So I shouldn’t go in against that belief.
Which brings me to the other doubt. If I believed so much in my idea, if I am so passionate about it.. then why haven’t I been moving faster at it? Why do I come up with these obstacles? Maybe my output skills are good enough and it is not even a problem right now. And if it might be a problem, maybe I can easily find great graphic designers to bring on the team to help me do it. Maybe I find clients easily. All these obstacles I come up with… they may not even exist right now.
If I knew, I would tell you why I have these doubts. Maybe it is normal to have all these doubts and it is just a matter of executing and doing it. Keep It Simple Stupid. Well I wish I kept it KISS, but I don’t. Maybe these doubts are a sign that this is not the right direction after all. Maybe I am only moving into this direction because I had this idea once, I told you guys and now I feel like I have to follow through. I just don’t know. I don’t know what I want anymore. I lost my direction and it is frustrating me.
It is probably not smart to put this all out there, showcasing strength and confidence and be quiet when you aren’t, is probably smarter especially when starting out. Because if you don’t believe in it, who will? “Sometimes I think if I was quiet, how much bigger I'd be” *- Russ.
But I will always remain honest with you guys and share my story, perhaps it helps some of you. Either way, it’s good to look back on and also helps clearing my mind. I think I just have to give myself time. Maybe I wake up tomorrow and I am pumped to look for new clients, look for designers. But it’s important not to do things because you feel like you have to or because you feel like you don’t know what else to do. Gotta do things because you want to and when you do… results tend to follow.
*- DWstevie
