can't hate on progress
Been 2 weeks since I wrote a blog and in that fact lies the reason why we haven’t been the best version of ourselves the past week. Today I woke up, if you can call it waking up, with a messed up neck, headache and no energy. Something that happens now and then. When I was younger I used to have headache way more often. It’s a weak spot for me I think, where some get backache, I get headache. To me it seems no coincidence anymore. My mind feels way to busy when going to bed, the night itself feels way too chaotic and the next day I feel not energized. I think the main reason for it, is not being too busy before going to bed, but getting too loose on the routines I was building. When life is all green grass and high tides for a minute, there seems no necessity to say no to things, you just enjoy the ride. When life is going south, all of a sudden you realize you want to move away from that and you start taking action to do so. Self-awareness and the capability to act on it, are the tools you need to be able to continue to enjoy the ride and to continue to be able to say no to things when life is good.
Changing the narrative
The main things I changed over the past few months is becoming more proactive, act instead of be acted upon. I started to protect me from myself, by taking at least 1 day off in the week for my own sanity. I started to say no to nights of gaming. I started to stop responding to non urgent messages right away. This allowed me to stay in control, focus on first things first and be proactive. I am at my best when my mind is free and I can be creative. When that creativity gets toned down, it exhausts me. Changing the narrative from "I have to" to "I want to", is such a big thing mentally. Anyway, these were some things that stood out to me. Life always throws you a curveball and sometimes it is easy to lose perspective because of it. Life is still good, yes poker may not have been going as I would like it to go. Not in love with the schedule when things go poor as there is currently just not so much to play, plus it is fairly repetitive which definitely taxes on my psych. But you cannot always get what you want in life. That's why it is important to be one with yourself, so you are in peace with whatever happens around you. You have to love yourself, so that when others don't for a minute, you are still gucci. So yes I am somewhat disappointed that I haven't been able to keep this train on track, but you can't hate on progress. I am progressing, so I should not get mad at myself when it is not always perfect, it's progress.
The coming time I will be working towards getting proactive again, leading horses to water but being fine when they don't drink. Continue to pave my way, continue to build teamDW together, find the energy inside rather than relying on circumstances.